A Mother's Love
by LuminaCarina
Summary: She should feel bad about loving one of her sons more than the other, but somehow she doesn't. EDITED


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**So, some ANs. I wrote this after my sister came home crying about loving her newborn daughter more than her son. (My sister's first husband had been an abusive bastard, and little Dino looks like his father.) **

**It got me thinking about Mikoto. I mean, it can't have been easy, her husband always working and Itachi having his missions all the time. It's not that hard to imagine that she would have bonded with Sasuke more than with Itachi.**

**I just want you to remember that this is before the massacre, and what Mikoto believes isn't necessarily the truth.**

Mikoto watched them carefully, keeping her smile soft and warm.

Fugaku was finally at home again, and so was her errant older son.

Her husband had been spending all his time at the station, working and trying to rebuild the Uchiha reputation. He ran the police force, he took missions from the Hokage and gave out donations to the civilians. When he was home, he was either training or eating, and he couldn't be bothered to talk to anyone who wasn't Itachi or the elders.

She hated him for it sometimes. At night, while she was lying in bed awake, trying to sleep but failing, or when she was having tea in the garden and looking at the seat in front of her, the seat that should have been Fugaku's.

But it wasn't Fugaku's, it wasn't Itachi's, it wasn't even Kushina's, for her best friend was long dead. It was Sasuke's.

Her younger son, who looked like her and acted like her and who never ignored her or left her behind. Sasuke was her favourite child, by far. She knew it was wrong, that she should love both her sons equally, but it was impossible when Itachi was never there.

Even as a child Itachi hadn't been hers, but had belonged to the clan. The clan heir, the greatest Uchiha they had ever produced, greater even that Madara himself. Those were the whispers that followed her when she took her son out for a walk, and eventually she couldn't take it anymore. All those eyes trailing her, the gossip being spread… She gave up and let Itachi deal with it by himself.

She convinced herself that Itachi didn't need her, that he had always been different and that his aloof behaviour was him actually trying to tell her to leave him alone. She regretted it later, and she tried to make it right, but by then it was too late.

Itachi had his ANBU, his missions and his training. He never bothered with her other than to tell her he would be going on another mission in a day, or even sooner. Itachi cared more for his career and the Hokage than he cared for her. Oh, she knew, or at least hoped, that Itachi loved her, but her heart had its doubts.

Sasuke never made her doubt his love for her. He told her all about her day at the Academy during dinner, and he asked for her help with throwing shuriken, and he thanked her with a bright smile whenever she prepared tomatoes for him. Sasuke laughed for her and talked with her.

Ever since Itachi graduated, it had been only her and Sasuke. It became so normal to be alone with her darling baby boy, that it felt wrong to have Fugaku and Itachi with them.

And now, here they were. Eating the food she made in utter silence, ignoring her, ignoring Sasuke and ignoring each other.

Of course, she was very much used to the silences between her and Fugaku, as they had been there from the very beginning of their marriage. They were comforting once, and then she had even been able to fool herself into thinking that maybe they could come to love each other. He would brush her hair and she would keep quiet about his ever-growing pile of work, and they would pretend that they weren't bitter or resentful. After a while though, the comforting kind of silences became few and far between, and they lost the edge of oblivion they once had. The silences became thick and loaded, and soon she and Fugaku were just strangers sharing the same bed.

And Itachi… Those silences were there mostly because she didn't know what to say or how to act. Sometimes, being near Itachi was like being near her now thankfully dead father. Itachi gave off the same aura of disapproval and disappointment her father had.

There were times she wondered when her perfect family fell apart, when the clan's reputation became more important that his children to Fugaku, when Itachi started believing himself to be nothing more than a tool, when she forgot how to interact with them. But she never spoke up about it. She stilled her tongue and smiled, offering more food even though she knew they would refuse, and waited 'til they went away and it was only her and Sasuke again.

She was already planning what to do in the morning when they were gone. Maybe she would take Sasuke to the park since the Academy closed for the day, or they could stay inside and read stories about the Great Shinobi Wars, or they could try practicing with senbon. Sasuke still didn't know how to throw those.

Fugaku asked Itachi about his latest mission, and Itachi replied that it went well. Both their voices were calm and quiet, and she watched Sasuke lift his head and stare at his father, waiting to be asked about his day.

The question never came, and she wanted nothing more than to jab her chopsticks in Fugaku's eyes for making Sasuke's own dark orbs fill with disappointment.

Don't you see what you're doing to him, she wanted to scream. Don't you see you're breaking his heart and making him resent Itachi? She could see the way Sasuke left Itachi alone more and more, and she could see how his respect for his father wilted away with each passing day.

Her husband and her elder son finished with their food and excused themselves, going back to work.

It was just her and Sasuke again, and she felt some wretched sort of relief at that. After all, she had borne Itachi for Fugaku and for the clan, but she gave birth to Sasuke for herself.

''Come, Sasuke-chan, will you help me clean up?''

His face lit up, and she knew he was happy again, despite his indignant protests about being called chan. Her heart warmed up and lightened when she proved to herself that, just like she loved him best, Sasuke loved her best as well. Maybe she wouldn't be pushed away this time.

**Thank you for reading, reviews would be welcomed.**


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